Dateline: Feb 12, 2010

People tend to want to blame others for things that don't necessarily go according to plan. Truth be told, this is not a good approach to life. If one never takes responsibility for their actions, one can always pin the blame on someone or something else. Or one could do what the Torah tells one to do, namely "own" it. Without taking this initial stage one will never be able to properly grow and mature.

Dateline: Jan 29, 2010

Today, it happened. As the minutes were ticking away, without any hesitation, someone began B'rchot in the minyan without being asked. They merely looked at the clock and saw that it was time, and even though, the "designated davener" was in the room, but not yet ready to lead, the person correctly began the service. This is another example of "be the man!"

Dateline: Jan 28, 2010

People always want to know why teshuva--repentance- is so difficult. After all, if Hashem is really desirious of our returning to Him, shouldn't it be relatively easy? What does it take to start praying on a daily basis, or keep kosher, or become Shabbat observant? Well, the same could be said as to losing weight. How much does it take to lose 30 pounds? Just cut out some meals or at least use portion control and/or exercise and watch the pounds melt away. Oh, if it was only so easy! In reality it is, but the results take time. Pounds don't fall off overnight, regardless of how much one exercises or starves oneself. Similarly, returning to Hashem and the Torah doesn't happen overnight regardless of how much studying or praying one does in a day. Rather both religiousity and weight loss take time and patience. It's true that one must start the process a.s.a.p. but if one expects results overnight, all one is doing is setting oneself up for failure.

In my last two blogs we talked about what happiness is and how I have to be responsible for my own happiness. Now I want to speak about how I can always be happy... Read More

It's a well known custom amongst Jews that during the omer, for a 33-day period, one neither shaves nor gets a haircut, listens to music, gets married, etc. The reason given for these mourning rituals is that a plague struck Rabbi Akiba's students, killing 24,000 of them during this 33-day period. The Rabbis inform us that they died as a result of their lack of derech eretz--mutual respect and common courtesy--towards each other.

“If I'm not happy, I'm doing something wrong.”

A key part of this phrase is “I'm”. It's very important that one takes responsibility for what he or she is in charge of. Too many times today, people blame others or other circumstances for their own shortcomings.

Hillel said in the Ethics of Our Fathers “If I am not for myself, who am I?” This phrase shouts out that I have to take care of myself. I can't rely upon anyone else. It is only I who can work for myself for my physical and spiritual well being. It is only I who is to blame if I am not happy. I have free choice. Sometimes my choices lead to prosperity and tranquility. Sometimes my choices lead to difficulties and travails. Yet it was myself who took me there.

I have been signing my emails with the phrase “If I'm not happy, I'm doing something wrong.” for the last two years. I'd like to take my first three blogs and explain what I mean. First of all, what does “happy" mean.

Happiness to me is a sense of contentment. I feel satisfied that what I am doing in general is leading me in a direction which is proper. This proper path contains spiritual, personal and interpersonal expectations. This path and expectations are in consonance with who I am. I don't expect to achieve something which does not fit me and my unique characteristics but I do expect to capitalize upon my own special qualities.