In my last two blogs we talked about what happiness is and how I have to be responsible for my own happiness. Now I want to speak about how I can always be happy... Read More
I recently gave a motivational class which focused on the dictum of Earl Nightingale, the father of motivational speaking in our current era. His basic theme hangs upon a simple truth: “I become what I think about.” If I have continual thoughts of despair and inadequacy, I will become such. On the other hand, if I have continual thoughts that I am a success and a high achiever, I will become a success and a high achiever. The world is what I wish it to be, not what anyone else wishes it to be. This is the basis for what Ben Zoma says in Ethics of Our Fathers: “Who is a rich man? One who is happy with his lot.” If I believe in myself and that which I am working towards, I am a success. Success, as Earl Nightingale defines it, is simply “The continual working towards a worthwhile goal.” The big question is how do I look at what I’m doing.
There are always two ways to look at a situation. One may see it as a disaster whereas another can see the possibilities in the circumstances. Let me tell you a personal story which could be looked upon in two different ways. My van needed repair because it would stall intermittently. As I was taking it to the shop about three miles from my home, the van stalled and wouldn’t start again. I called AAA for a tow. After I had described what had happened, the nice lady on the other end apologized for me having a bad day. I immediately corrected her and said I was not having a bad day. Breakdowns are part of life and should be expected. To me, everything was going according to plan and I was happy as a lark.
There is one more example I’d like to share. There was a man at my synagogue whom I’d usually meet after services when we were putting our Talit and Tefilin away. When we were about to leave I would tell him to have a great day. He would respond (in a traditional manner and in Hebrew) “If G-d wills it.” I would always tell him he was wrong. One should say (again in Hebrew) “With G-d’s help.” It isn’t up to G-d if I have great day or not, it is up to me. It all depends upon how I want to look at the circumstances I find myself in. G-d can make it easier for me, but he can’t make me have a good or bad day, that is up to me. Even if only “good” things were to happen to a person, one could focus on the negative, if they so desire, and have a bad day. If one wants to have a good or great day, however, one must focus on the positive.
In conclusion, if it is to be, it is up to me. If I want to be happy, I need to know who I am, what I want, go out and get it and focus/think about that happiness on a regular basis. I can choose to be in whatever mood or disposition that I choose to be in. Yet, I need to always realize, that if I’m not happy, I’m doing, or thinking, something wrong.